I base a lot of my self worth on what other people think of me. I think this is one of my biggest flaws. I take things so personally. If I lose a follower I worry about what I've done wrong. If I find an old acquaintance defriended me on Facebook, I feel so hurt. If someone doesn't like me, I get all bent out of shape about it.
We live in my in laws basement, and we have for a year and a half. I'm so embarrassed by that. The rest of the blogging world is filled with beautiful women living in beautiful houses that are beautifully decorated. I don't. I'm poor and I live in an over stuffed and cluttered basement.
I am ridiculously shy and awkward in real life. Social situations make me anxious. I don't like being in a room filled with people, I usually stare at my feet as much as possible. As much as I do like to meet new people, I don't like the process. People often think I am extremely rude and stuck up because I don't talk to anyone and I keep to the few people I know. And when I do try to talk to other people, I say really awkward things because I sometimes forget to turn my "filter" on. I wonder if any of you would like me in real life.
Blogs and blogging over-stimulate me and zap my inspiration. That's one reason why I sometimes fall off the grid, I just get too overwhelmed by all the amazing things other people are doing and obsess over the awesome things I'm NOT doing. I beat myself up over it, and I compare myself to others until I run my self esteem into the ground. I need to take a step back and try and let my inspiration seep back in. I try to do too much and make things I think people will like, and I end up failing because I drain all my energy trying to get people to like me. (Refer to my second paragraph.)
I am so very far from perfect.