Six years ago he was gone without warning. He went to sleep and never woke up. He was only 18, I was only 18, and it was the first time I'd lost someone so close to me. This day never gets any easier.
I think about all the dreams he had that he was never able to reach.
I think about the family he left behind, his parents without their son and his sister without her brother.
I think about how he was the only boy that was ever at my birthday parties, and how I was the only girl at his, and I smile.
I think about all the dances we went to together and what a handsome young man he was.
I think about the time he saved me from that terrifying thunderstorm I got caught in while running, and all the other times he saved my butt.
I think about how much I truly loved him, and the wedding we were going to have.
I think about his talents, and how he was never able to bless the world with them.
I think about his smile, and how it never failed to make me smile.
I think about so many things, he was such a major part of my life for twelve years. There are so many wonderful memories that include him, and I treasure each one of them.
I miss him. Even now I still miss him. I wish I could call him up and tell him everything that's going on with my life. I want to tell him how much I miss him, and how grateful I am to have known him. I want to tell him what an impact he had on me, and what a perfect friend he always was to me. I want to apologize for all the times I was mean to him and told him he was annoying. I want to apologize for not being able to go to his funeral, I want to apologize for never having the strength to even visit his grave. I want him to wrap me in his arms and tell me everything is going to be ok.
Sometimes I get angry, I think "Lord, why did you take him away from me? Why? I loved him, he was my best friend, we could have had so many wonderful years together. He was only 18! WHY!?" Sometimes I cry (or bawl until my eyes swell shut) and sometimes I still hurt. Even though he's gone, he still helps me be a better person. His death reminds me to live my life to the fullest, and to cherish each day I am blessed with. Don't ever forget to tell someone how much they mean to you, because they might not be with you tomorrow.
But, I know the Lord does not make mistakes. And I know I will see him again someday. <3 I wear this beautiful necklace and remember him fondly.
Have you lost someone close to you?